The “Pissed” Off Girls Guide to Love- Understanding Why You’re Annoyed (and what to do about it!)
Let’s Be Real…
You’re pissed—and for good reason. Let’s not dance around it. Underneath all that frustration is some real hurt.
You’re not just annoyed—it’s deeper than that.
It’s about feeling like your needs, feelings, or expectations are being ignored
It doesn’t matter if you’re dating, in a relationship, or married. The list of reasons why you’re pissed can feel endless.
And here’s the truth: it’s not usually one big thing.
It’s all the little things piling up until you’re sitting there wondering, What the hell is even the point?
Why You’re Pissed (aka Hurting): The Triggers
Here’s the thing—most of these triggers aren’t random. They show up in those moments where he’s not showing up for you. You know what I’m talking about:
He said he’d call at 8 PM but didn’t.
He’s not really listening (again) or brushes off your concerns like they don’t matter.
He interrupts or talks over you.
He dodges responsibilities, so you’re stuck handling it all.
He gets defensive every time you bring something up.
He takes zero initiative—no date nights, no affection, no effort to keep things alive.
He said he’d fix the damn light bulb… and you’re still sitting in the dark.
Sound familiar?
It’s like death by a thousand tiny cuts.
Over time, all these small things add up, and you start feeling resentful, disconnected, and—let’s face it—pretty damn over it.
So, What Do You Do About It?
Here’s where it gets tricky. The solution isn’t what you think.
It’s not nagging.
It’s not yelling.
And it’s definitely not shutting down and turning into an ice queen.
The answer is: be warm and distant.
Wait, What? Why Not Cold and Distant?
I know, I know. Being cold and distant feels like the natural move. You’re pissed, so you shut down, protect yourself, and stop giving a damn.
But here’s the problem:
Being cold feels terrible for you.
He picks up on it, and it just pushes him even further away.
Instead, warm and distant flips the script.
What the Hell is Warm and Distant?
It’s about stepping into your feminine power—soft, magnetic, and open on the outside, but strong as hell on the inside.
It’s about leaning back, letting him lead, and showing up in a way that inspires—not demands—change.
It’s also about expressing your feelings instead of just firing off thoughts like a machine gun.
How to Handle Common Triggers (the Feminine Way)
He didn’t call when he said he would.
Old Way: “Why didn’t you call? You’re so unreliable!”
Warm & Distant: “I felt disappointed when we didn’t connect like you said we would.”
(See what happens when you leave space for him to step up?)He’s not listening or dismisses you.
Old Way: Yelling louder, repeating yourself, or snapping, “You never listen!”
Warm & Distant: Pause, breathe, and say, “I don’t feel heard right now. It makes me want to pull away, but I don’t want to feel that way with you. What do you think?”
(Boom. You just dropped the mic and gave him the floor.)He talks over you.
Old Way: Talking louder or shutting down completely.
Warm & Distant: Step back physically—literally take a step away, drop your arms by your side, and calmly say, “I feel like I’m being talked over, and it makes me feel invisible.”
(No yelling. No drama. Just truth.)He avoids responsibilities, so you pick up the slack.
Old Way: “Why do I have to do everything around here?”
Warm & Distant: “I feel overwhelmed trying to handle this on my own. I’d love your help.”
(Let him know how it impacts you and invite him to step in.)He gets defensive when you bring something up.
Old Way: Spiraling into an argument.
Warm & Distant: “It makes me sad that we can’t talk about this without it getting tense.”
(You’re not blaming. You’re inviting connection.)He takes no initiative—no dates, no effort.
Old Way: “Why do I have to do all the work?!”
Warm & Distant: Lean back. Stop planning everything. Let him notice when you focus on your own happiness, and when he steps up (even a little), let him know it’s appreciated.
He didn’t change the damn light bulb
Old Way: “Why do I have to ask you a million times?!”
Warm & Distant: “I feel a little frustrated sitting in the damn dark- I can’t see my dinner” (kidding)
Say: “I feel a little frustrated seeing the light bulb out. It makes me happy when you take care of it.”
(Short. Sweet. Gets the point across without the nagging.)
If None of This Works?
Lean back even more. Let him feel the natural consequences of not stepping up. Don’t swoop in and handle it for him.
Instead, redirect your energy into something that lights you up—because when you’re glowing with self-love, feminine energy and confidence, he’s either going to step up or step out.
Either way, you’re good.
Here’s What You Need to Remember
Your feelings are valid. Your frustrations are real. But the way forward isn’t through coldness, control, or trying to force him to change.
It’s through warmth, emotional maturity and strength,
AND respect—for yourself and for him.
The goal isn’t manipulation. It’s inspiration.
When you step into your feminine power, you open the door for deeper connection, respect, and balance.
And when he steps up, it feels good for both of you.
Love,
xo Victoria Rose
